Me and my weight we got issues!

Wednesday, 16 July 2014

Hey Honeybees!

Hope you like the title, it's a little nod to the Saturday's song "Issues". Anyway, today's post is me discussing how I got fat, and my struggles to lose weight.

I haven't always been overweight/obese, I was a slim Jim until I was about 21. From the age of 16 I was always a healthy weight of between 9st and 9st 7lb, and being 5ft 7 inches in height that put me in the healthy bracket. Clothes size wise I was a UK size 10. The ironic thing was I thought I was fat! I'd love to be that fat now.

My Sisters wedding size 10

I started to put on weight at around 21, it slowly began to creep on. I was working in the city centre and there was easy access to food, with stores all around me. There was a Tesco next door to where I worked where I always picked up sandwiches with bread the size of doorsteps and a filling that would block any arteries. Then just across the way was a Greggs, I was rather partial to a corn beef slice.

A Holiday to Spain where I was heading towards being a size 12-14

I remember having the pictures above developed and picking them up. I opened them to have a look at the train station on the way to visit a relative and the minute I saw them I burst into tears at how fat I had got, again I'd love to be this fat now.

Jump forward about four years and I'd put on about 4st weighing in at about 17st 11 lbs. The photo below was my friends wedding where I was a bridesmaid. When I looked at the photos of the day I was repulsed by myself and hated the photos. I compared myself to the other bridesmaids and bride which I know I shouldn't but that's what us girls do.

17ST 11 LBS

I decided then I really had to lose weight for my health and self esteem. I joined Slimming World shortly after that. I managed to stick to the plan for a while and managed to lose about 3st 9 lb, slimming down to about 14st 2lb.

You can tell I had lost weight look at the size of those pants!

It was at around this time that my Brother passed away at the age of 35. I gave up going to Slimming World and I piled all the weight back on plus another two stone, weighing my heaviest at 19st 9 lb.

19st 9 lb

To say I despised myself is putting it mildly! So again I decided to do something about it and joined Weight Watchers on-line. I started losing weight again and managed to go down to about 15st 2 lb.

15st 2 lb

I even managed to get fit enough to do the Race for life 5k run or in my case fast walk. I was really proud that I had done this and I wasn't even out of breath.

Then of course life being life I had to give up Weight Watcher's because I couldn't afford it as well as the fact I lost my motivation. 

That brings us to the present where I weigh around 18st and wear a size 22-24 UK.

People always say, why don't you do something about it! For me it's not just as easy as eating less food and doing more exercise. I have depression, which takes away all my motivation and makes me want to eat all day. From the minute I wake up until  I go to bed I think about food. I crave chocolate and cake at breakfast time and pies and burgers at dinner and tea time. 

I'm trying to stick to low fat food at the moment but it's a struggle and as for exercise I just can't force myself to do it. I don't want to be fat I really don't but it's like a constant battle with my mind. 

Mr Honeybee has to lose weight for an operation he has coming up, so I'm going to try to lose weight again with him. I'd like to get down to 11st and be able to maintain it. I know some people would think that's still fat but to me it would be heaven. 

Do any of you have any advice to help me? I don't want to do any faddy diets like eating cabbage soup. I want sensible suggestions. Do any of you have depression and have managed to lose weight? Please leave me some tips in the comments and maybe some inspiration, do you have any before and after pictures?

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Thanks for reading and following

Melissa (Honeybee Chatter) xx


6 Responses to “Me and my weight we got issues!”

  1. Hi hun,

    I don't battle with my weight as such but it does fluctuate. Like you,I love chocolate, sweets and takeaways and refuse to give them up but have them in moderation. If I want something I will eat it as life can be miserable as it is and even more so dieting its depressing! To compensate, being organised and writing a food plan for the week helps including your chocolate intake etc. Try to keep things as low fat as you can and maybe get into a habit for going for a walk before or after lunch/dinner or even an easy bike ride to start with. Exercise releases good endorphins to make you feel better about yourself and the more you then want to do. I have been touching a little on a raw diet and making granola bars that don't need baking with healthy ingredients and virtually fat free and also juicing to get goodness. Having a hobby of making my resources and other things keeps my mind from also thinking about food. Not doing it alone also helps with the motivation but you don't need to pay out for a class to loose weight its all in the head. A session in hypnotheraphy! lol xx

    1. Thanks for the advice Hun, the granola bars sound great. xx

  2. I suffer with depression too and snacking has now become part of my every day routine. I have tried every diet regime going and sometimes starve myself which I know is not good for me either. My GP has recommended exercise on prescription, I said I would think about it. My GP obviously does not understand how much effort it is just for me to get out of bed! Thank you for being brave and sharing your story, so many people are struggling with mental illnesses and we need more people like you to stand up and speak out :)

    1. Aww thank you. Most doctors don't understand because they have never gone through it and they barely touch on it in their training. I have depression and anxiety so like you I struggle to get out of bed plus I struggle in social situations like exercising in public. The one thing that may help with your depression if you're up for it is CBT i did it and it has helped me a lot. If you ever need to talk I'm on twitter my link is in this post or at the top of the blog. Good luck hun. xx

  3. I know what you mean about how it takes effort to get up, I think that incorporating exercised even if it's just walking around for sometime improves your health a lot, it really will be up to you to find your own regime that works though, one that you actually like and doesn't feel like effort. Snacking on some healthier alternatives might be a good idea swell, if it's a burger you want try a veggie burger, i think they taste delicious, anyways, if you're happy with yourself, don't feel the need to change, but if you would like to do something then finding a regime that's soley yours, I think will work out the best

    Good luck! :)


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